Blinking until your eyes are too tired to blink anymore helps you fall asleep in 5 minutes.
Putting socks on before pants. Socks are like pant lubricants. Believe it.
Filter out any email that has “Unsubscribe” in it.
If you look like you know where you’re going, you will almost never be stopped or questioned.
Use an accented letter as your passcode. No one will ever be able to guess it.
Holding down the space bar on my phone gives you total control of the cursor.
Saying something out loud helps you remember you did it.
Pump up the volume at any impromptu party by putting your smartphone in a bowl.
If you ever have to park in a city at night, park in front of a bank. They’re lit up and have cameras everywhere.
Mayonnaise has less calories if you snort it.
To avoid smeared frosting and clumps of cake breaking off, use a long string of unflavored dental floss to cut through a cake.
Toilet seat covers work great for facial oil blotting.
Putting black pepper on a cut will stop the bleeding immediately and help the clotting.
Glue a tiny mirror over the picture of you on your driver’s license so when you hand it to the police, they get confused and arrest themselves instead.
If you bring a gun to the bank, you can withdraw more money than is in your account.